Nobody’s Guide to the Spider-Man 3 Teaser

(Best viewable in Mozilla Firefox.)

After revealing Spider-Man perched like a gargoyle in his new costume, the sequence of action shots begins with a classic pose of Spidey, jumping off of what looks like Saruman’s tower of Isengard:

Then returning cast members appear, such as Kirsten Dunst looking just as much like a drowned rat as she did in the last one. Face it, tiger, you just hit the jackpot — NOT!


Now here’s the alien symbiote syrup-titiously attaching itself to Spidey, which shows Raimi tapping into his low-budget horror expertise:

It’s evident from the next shot as well as on-set photos that Spidey’s traditional costume in this movie has actually been modified a bit, in particular the blue portion which is more gray than navy:


This is actually more consistent with the costume’s original depiction. Steve Ditko intended the Spider-Man costume to be red and black, with blue used only to highlight it, to make it look three-dimensional. (It’s the reason Superman’s hair always has blue in it — his hair is really black, and blue is a conventional color-code for “shiny black.”) This can be seen in the first comic book featuring Spider-Man:


On May 4th . . .



It’s not just Spidey who’s looking more formal this season; everybody is dressing up. Black is the new Kimono:

Hopefully that kiss happens right before the alien symbiote crawls out of Peter’s sleeve and strangles Mary Jane in a fit of jealous rage. Or better yet, pours itself down her throat and drowns her in sentient tar!

Sorry, daydreaming there. Moving on, James Franco ditches his father’s Power Rangers suit for a more modest . . . Green Hornet mask? Well, I suppose it’s an improvement:

In a controversial divergence from comic book continuity, Peter Parker begins to eschew his skinny nerd reputation in favor of a more Pillsbury Doughboy look:

And finally, we end where we began, with the tyrannizing influence of Lord of the Rings showing through yet again:


3 thoughts on “Nobody’s Guide to the Spider-Man 3 Teaser

  1. mike says:

    who made this website is a jerk this movie was great u jerk

  2. Nobody says:

    You’ve got me all wrong, Mike! This post was about the trailer, which I loved. A very successful trailer that made the movie look like it would be the greatest one ever made!

    It’s the movie itself which turned out to be terrible.

  3. A says:

    The best description I ever heard, and this is especially vivid on the Elizabethtown poster, but Kirsten Dunst looks, at all times, as if she was hit on the back of the head with a lead pipe.

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