It’s About Time!

Can you imagine what JFK would have thought if someone had told him in 1961, when he promised a moonwalk by the end of the decade, that it would take an additional 50 years before we got around to building a moonbase? He probably would have laughed at your lack of vision and scolded you for being so pessimistic.

Sure, we honored his memory by achieving his goal with months to spare, but the mind-boggling accomplishment of putting Man on the Moon inspired nothing so much as a 38-year vacation from interplanetary progress.

But Rip van Winkle-like, NASA have finally been roused from their stupor and are talking Moonbase by 2020. This is the first step towards removing the 500-year stigma of violence from colonialism and creating a world, or rather a solar system, in which imperialism not only doesn’t imply genocide, it’s categorically impossible.

With the suburbanization of space finally underway, we can look forward to a future in which Republicans will be from Mars, Democrats from Neptune; the best show on TV will be “Triton Break”; feminists and pro-lifers will be united in common cause; and Earth’s environment will finally be saved from human litter. (To find out why, consult this post.)

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5 thoughts on “It’s About Time!

  1. Ryan says:

    While I love the idea of living on the moon, I think the novelty would wear off after a few hours.

    “Look how far I can jump!”

    “I want to go home.”

    Ol’ Gray ‘n’ Chalky, yessir, that’s our moon.

  2. Nobody says:

    I never said I want to live on the moon, I just want somebody (else) to do it!

  3. Beady eyes Al says:

    Hell. If Kennedy had got his hands on a lunar base in his lifetime he would only have used it as a motel in which to do the seedy underpant jives of which he was so fond. Or Jackie would have stored her many many outfits in there. Say what you like about George W. but at least he would put it to good use, deploying it as a base of operations from which to democratise and Christianify those uncouth moon folk.

  4. Nobody says:

    Although, not to put too fine a point on it, but reflecting that the Bush Doctrine is taken straight from the Kennedy Playbook, we can confidently surmise that JFK would have used a moonbase to bring seedy underpant jives to the frigid moon folk, based on the optimistic belief that all sentient beings — regardless of country, creed, or planet — have an innate desire for libert[inism].

  5. Beady eyes Al says:

    “Frigid moon folk”. Nice. It’s true. He would have been all over those prudish lunar-types like a hefty dose of agent orange.

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