All Star Batman and Robin #3

The Letdown.

I gave the last two issues the benefit of the doubt, and even praised them for being different and doing unexpected things, but NOTHING HAPPENS in the third issue.

The first 15 pages are a kind of new origin for Black Canary but it is tedious and repetitive. It’s extremely overnarrated from a third-person perspective. When you think about how much information Miller was able to fit on a page of the Dark Knight Returns, it’s actually amazing how many words are used to develop so little here. It’s like Frank “Terse Noir-ration” Miller was raped by Brian “Dia(rrhea)logue” Bendis and produced a neverending afterbirth of faux-noir verbiage.

Running out of room (but most likely time) to develop the primary plot, Miller returns to Batman and Robin for four pages. At the end of issue #2 he showed how much could be squeezed into just a few pages, but here gives Jim Lee TWO full-page splashes followed by a TWO-PAGE splash, which gives Batman’s narration only enough room to re-cap what he did in the previous two issues. Their relationship is not advanced in the few seconds that elapse here since the end of #2, and the only thing that happens is that the Batmobile (which sprouted wings and flew in the previous issue) dives into the water and becomes a submarine. But we still don’t know where they are going. Since kidnapping Dick Grayson in the first issue, at this rate it will be a miracle if they reach the Batcave by the fifth.

The next two pages (narrator- and dialogue-free, supporting my ran-out-of-time theory) introduce Clark Kent, who is inordinately angry at the news of Dick’s abduction. He’s so pissed, he destroys the newspaper (and his glasses) with his heat vision. Big bitch-fight next issue over who gets Dick apparently.

Miller and Lee then cheat with their 22nd page, nothing but a giant S-symbol to tease the next issue. Thieves!

The timeline is also screwy because it says Clark read the morning paper (with the news of Batman kidnapping Grayson) 15 hours before the scenes with the Batmobile. Which means Batman and Dick have been driving around for at least 24 hours, if not two days. If the Batmobile doesn’t surface in the Mediterranian next issue I’m going to wonder what’s been going down in those unaccounted hours.

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One thought on “All Star Batman and Robin #3

  1. […] In my review of All Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder #3, I said: Since Batman kidnapped Dick Grayson in the first issue, at this rate it will be a miracle if they reach the Batcave by the fifth. […]

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